Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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