Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Vodka?
Forever.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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