At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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