can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
