I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
