Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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