Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He felt like a one man threesome
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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