Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize