would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
