I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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