My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
