im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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