mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Green mimosas i think yes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
