don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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