Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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