so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
