Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
