Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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