Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
