Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
