If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
