Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
