It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
