Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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