how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
