butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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