those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
