it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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