The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
