so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
