Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
