He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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