ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
