It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
