Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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