I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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