didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
