I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
