Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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