these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize