i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
