I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
