What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
