just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
