i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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