We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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