I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize