oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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