so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
