i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
