ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize