Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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