Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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