you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
