Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
