nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I stole a fireplace last night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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