don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
