I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
